Which Direction Are You Praying In? by Sophia Chang

Photo of Sophia Chang by Megan Pangan

Photo of Sophia Chang by Megan Pangan

Some people have this view of me as fearless and independent. From the outside I understand it: I had purple hair at my Harvard interview, I travel solo, and I've been known to depart from a crowd when I preferred a different activity - sometimes trailing fellow renegades.

But from the inside looking out, I've almost never called myself independent because of this: 

I spent so much of my life worried about what people thought of me. 

When I look over the landscape of my varied and colorful life, I see a constant pendulum swing between being myself and wanting to be liked and accepted.

The thing is, the times that I was fearlessly independent were the times when greatness happened.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
— Romans 12:2 NKJV

Psychological and emotional maturity is the ability to make the healthiest and best choice for ourselves instead of constantly seeking outside approval. It's a necessary component of self-confidence and strong boundaries. And that can only come from shifting our decision-making process from an externally-driven one into an internally sound one.

That's why there's something really uncomfortable about the way prayer is interpreted and modeled in many churches.

where does god dwell?

There's a way in which we're taught to pray outwards towards an external God that dwells upon the high heavens, and not intimately within us as the Holy Spirit.

This happens when the cry to lean not on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5) is interpreted too literally and out of context - and I don't only mean within the scriptural context but within a spiritual context.

When we're asked not to lean on our own understanding, people behave as if it means we don't know any better and will never have access to this higher knowledge or larger, loving perspective - the analogy of an ant trying to understand the human is often inserted here.

When we interpret the verse in that way, we have completely forgotten about the indwelling Christ.Tweet: Don't forget about the in-dwelling Christ. Latest blog: Which Direction Are You Praying In? @thesophiachang http://ctt.ec/ygX75+ Tweet that!
My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.
— Galatians 2:20 NLT

Where does Christ dwell? On a cloud looking down?

Try in your hearts through faith (Ephesians 3:17). That's right. Your roots grow down in love, not up and out into some mysterious presence in the ether, where who knows what happens to it.

Over and over we're reminded (particularly by John) that Christ is in us now.

Yet Sunday after Sunday we pray to a distant God, petitioning him as if he's a department chair who must approve our senior theses. (I've been interviewing applicants to Harvard all month and have college on my mind.)

I do this constantly - asking for a sign from the outside, a sign my eyes can see in the external world, a word I must hear from outside of me in order to believe.

It's no better than caring what other people think. No better than living for the world.

Spiritual Maturity

In the same way psychological maturity allows us to think independently and make healthy decisions on our own, spiritual maturity includes the ability to attune to the inner voice - the still, small one - and to live by that truth instead of relying on external opinions and approval. 

The only way to be true to Christ in his truest form, is to be true to the Spirit within you. So the next time you pray, try going inward to the very heart of the matter.

Remember the Christ within.

If You Want a Living Christ, LIVE as Christ by Sophia Chang

First shared live at worship on Sunday, January 24th, 2016:

We're Asians - we're good students who went to good schools and we know how to study.

I am careful as I learn about Christ not to turn it into another school assignment, where I'm just ingesting information by rote. I avoid this by checking in with what makes my heart come alive. This reminds me that Christianity is about a living Christ, not an intellectual one or a paper book one.

The things that make my heart come alive are the personal ways in which God speaks to me. I've come to realize that is true nearness to God - when he's so close he comes from within, not when he's coming in through my eyeballs in black and white.

That's also what faith is.

It's one thing to believe something because you see it, either experientially - in that it happens to you, or intellectually - which is another form of seeing (from the eyes to the brain). That's mere belief.

Faith is acting upon the values of God's love; it is embodying a living Christ by acting as Christ. 

These topics of personalization and an active faith are my obsession right now and I believe they should be an obsession for life.