True Surrender is Saying No / by Sophia Chang

Photo of Sophia Chang by Vandiveer

Photo of Sophia Chang by Vandiveer

I was an atheist until the age of 24, when I fell in love with an evangelical Christian. He was so calm and his eyes were so alive - "he has the passion of the Christ", I used to joke when secular friends asked me why I was with him.

We were only together a short time, but it changed my life forever. It wasn't a happy conversion, or one without strife and tears. In fact, I didn't so much decide to believe in God, as I did decide to give up atheism.

I was simply tired of fighting. Fighting with my boyfriend, fighting with religion as a conglomerate. It was easier to just give in.

Looking back, I can say that was the moment I started learning how to surrender.

It sounds like resignation, but it's much more powerful than that. Cunningly powerful, in fact.

People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.
— Steve Jobs

In entrepreneurship. During my healing journey. In coach training. Through therapy. As a novelist. Over and over again, the wisest advice is to let go, cull, drop weight, and say no.

Give in. Say no. 

What you were clutching so tightly in your clenched fists, you don't need anymore. See how much easier it is when you realize you don't have to hold on after all.

Give in. Say no. Surrender.

And be loved.