Last article Hippies in Tevas: A Love Story kicked off the Love Series!
My friend Amy and I met for Indonesian lunch last month. When she went to her car to get milk for her new son, I scooped him up.
The boy is a parental dream; he settled instantly into my arms. Then he began to smile at me.
I knew then and there I was in love.
It was unreal. I was Jacob imprinting on Renesmee. (From the Book of Twilight, 4 Jacob 1:897,592.)
The sticky plastic menu in front of me disappeared; the waitstaff and other diners faded. I didn't move - neither did time. I was transfixed.
I have been in love. I have also been infatuated, or in need, and called that love, but I'm talking about real, sacrificial love. I've been lucky enough to have that.
Those few experiences of real love changed me. They broke me, and re-whole'd me. The effects have lasted forever and regrooved my neurological patterns.
And, if you're hurting like me, you search a lifetime for that love. Sometimes, like holding an adorable baby, you can replicate the feeling for a moment.
Then you want it forever. You're addicted, sure as sugar or cocaine. Biochemically, it's the same.
It's a form of self-immolation, I tell you.
The secular world tried their best. Coaches and friends urged me to "love myself".
It didn't work.
It will never work to tell someone who's never known unwavering, encompassing love to just love herself.
It took three decades for me to find the one thing that does work. You know I love a good love story: this one gets better.
Addict for Life
God did not cure me of love.
That "addiction" is not meant to be cured. It was given to us by the original love addict - Love itself. It's our right, and our command.
It's just meant to be channeled correctly.
It's hard to do this perfectly. Every day, every moment, I remind myself to look up first. I don't always remember. I'm often distracted by old habits and values. But now, when I fall, there are hands to catch me, sisters to minister to me, and a web keeping me from splattering.
These days when I fall, I'm set back on my feet quickly.